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Thursday, April 24, 2014

Apr 24, 2014 -- 12:39am

It’s Thursday and that means I help one lucky Oahu resident find love in this morning’s KPOI’s Missed Connection.  But first, still giving away a four pack of passes to the advanced screening of “Neighbors” starring Zac Efron and Seth Rogen happening Tuesday, May 6th, at 7 pm.  Listen at win at 7:40.

Now for that Missed Connection.  [Here] is the actual ad.

Now for what’s inside:

Kapolei Target - m4w - 27 (Oahu)

We made some good eye connections in target you were wearing a pink dress. You were with a fat guy not sure if that was your bf or not

Where do I begin. I’m guess he meant eye contact? Eye connections sounds like you both had goopy makapiapia or something and they were connected somehow.  Also if the “fat guy” with her isn’t her boyfriend, chances are, he’s a really good friend of hers and doesn’t appreciate you calling her friends names. And if it IS her boyfriend, look out because he might have her reply to you just to get your info, so he can crush you.

Well pink dress Target shopper, if the guy with you was just a friend and you're looking for a guy that’s incredibly blunt, your prince awaits on Craigslist.

And when was the last time you found cash on the ground? For me, it was about three months ago, I found a $10 dollar bill on a week that I was very broke.  Went straight to Little Caesars and turned it into a Hot-n-Ready pizza and an Icee. But I digress, a man in Virginia was even luckier this week when he found $1,000 in a Walmart parking lot. It was laying right next to his car, so he picked it up and guess what he did next … he bought 200 DVDs from the $5 dollar bin. I’m kidding. He was a good guy and went to the police to turn it in. The police officers weren’t surprised by his act of honesty. They say people return found cash all the time. The reason for it: The officers say “It’s kind of psychological. Most of the time people will turn it in because they think they are being watched.”

That’s a cute idea but c’mon. I’ve had my cars windows busted in and my car ignition ripped out, right in front of a Kunia Walmart. I assure you, no one’s  watching you. Pick up that cash and take all your friends to lunch.  Read the whole story [here].


Next time you think of complaining about what’s in your salad… maybe it’s a veggie or dressing you don’t like, just be thankful it’s not a bird leg. That’s what was found by an Ohio woman when she purchased a bag of Dole Spinach. Imagine biting into that  crunchy twig.  “She says she saw what looked like nails, like talons and realized, 'Oh my Gosh, this is part of a bird.” That just makes me think of Napoleon Dynamite… does the salad have large talons?”  Read the crunchy story [here].


Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Apr 23, 2014 -- 12:53am

It’s Wrong Wrong Wednesday and I’ve got some Oasis for ya in just a little bit.  And make sure you’re listening up at 7:40, for your chance to win a four pack of passes to the movie “Neighbors” starring Zac Efron and Seth Rogen on Tuesday, May 6th, at 7 pm.     

Now for that Oasis Wrong Wrong Wednesday:


Makes sense, right? Cannibals don’t get to eat as often as the rest of us. Therefore their energy is lower, which makes them slower. So when it comes to walking down the hall, of course you’re gonna be faster than a cannibal. Even on champagne.

So yesterday, we talked about powdered alcohol coming to a liquor store near you. Well, not anymore … not in the near future anyway. It seems that the powdered alcohol known as “Palcohol” was approved by the FDA by mistake. I dunno how that happens, but who knows, maybe it’s a blessing in disguise to protect all that were going to mess themselves up by snorting it. Don’t lose hope though, maybe we’ll come up with a way to dehydrate our booze by ourselves. That’ll be the next level for those hipsters that like to brew their own beer. Start dehydrating their gin and other old timey drinks.  Read the whole story [here].


Choosing a name for your baby can be difficult. Luckily my wife knows that I don’t like to think, so she made the final call with our kids. But for one couple, when it came to naming their baby, they turned to the internet … because as we all know, you can always trust the internet, right? Some of the suggested names were Megatron, Zelda, and Streetlamp. They decided to go with one of the other runner-up names, which was Amelia.  Zelda would’ve been a cool name. The only thing is, she’d be last in the lunch line. Kids still do that in school, right? Line-up alphabetically according to first name?  When it came to pizza day, I changed my name to Alfred … get to the front of that line, baby.  Read the rest of the story [here].

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Apr 22, 2014 -- 7:08am

On Spankin’ New Tuesday this morning, find out which DVDs and Blu-Rays are being released today, as well as which bands are dropping new albums today.  Then at 7:40 make sure you’re listening for your chance to win a four pack of passes to the movie “Neighbors” starring Zac Efron and Seth Rogen on Tuesday, May 6th, at 7 pm.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

ht snake centipede kb 140418 16x9 608 Snake Eats Monster Centipede, Which Eats It Back


It’s springtime and here in Hawaii, and I dunno about you, but for me, that means I start to see more Waipahu wildlife - toads, mongoose and centipedes. The first two I can handle but centipedes … when I see ‘em in my house, I don’t feel comfortable for at least 48 hrs after my encounter with them. And to make things worse … there’s stories like this going around. ABC News reported a story of a snake and a centipede killing each other in battle. It went a little something like this: the viper attacked the centipede, swallowed him, thinking it was an easy victory. But then, the centipede began eating the viper from the inside, cleaning out his organs. The viper almost made an escape, he was able to bite a hole out of the viper’s stomach but then finally died with just his head sticking out.

So just remember-yes, Hawaii is snake-free BUT we have centipedes and apparently centipedes are strong enough to kill snakes ... and we find them in our homes all the time. Remember to shake your shoes out before you slip ‘em on this morning.  Read the whole story [here].


Here’s the latest in booze technology. Next time you hit the liquor store, you might see  packets of Palcohol. You heard me correctly. Palcohol … powdered alcohol - as strong as a regular mixed drink. You just dump the powder into some water for your next instant cocktail. Do not, DO NOT snort the powder, says the Huffington Post.  Sounds like some people have already tried it. I wonder if anyone tried eating it fun dip. You remember that candy? You had that white lik-a-stick and then dip it into the powder?  Probably not a good idea either. But it’ll powdered alcohol will definitely be easier for transpot …we’ll see if that’s a good thing. Palcohol …. coming to a store near you, obviously for us folks 21 and up. Read the rest of the story [here].


Monday, April 21, 2014

Apr 21, 2014 -- 12:57am

It's the day after Easter, and we had a blast this morning taking calls from people who gave up different things for Lent.  And at 7:40, I’ll be giving away a four pack of passes to the movie “Neighbors” starring Zac Efron and Seth Rogen on Tuesday, May 6th, at 7 pm.  

And if you didn’t find a golden egg yesterday, perhaps it was because all the gold was in this guy’s stomach. A 63-year old man in India originally went in for surgery because he said that he swallowed a bottle cap. But what the surgeon found in his stomach was no bottle cap. Instead, he found 12 bars of gold.  There’s been a lot of gold smuggling over there so there was some suspicion and the gold was confiscated. Twelve bars of gold … I imagine that’s the same feeling you get after eating a Chicago deep dish pizza - that feeling of a heavy slab right at the bottom of your gut. He should just be glad the gold bars stayed put and didn’t try to make their way out. Ewww, the corners on those things.  Read the whole story [here].


Friday, April 18, 2014

Apr 18, 2014 -- 7:51am

It’s Good Friday and I’ll let you know which movies hit theaters today in  this morning’s Friday Flicks.  Speaking of movies, I’ll be giving away the last Transcendence movie prize pack at 7:40.  Make sure to listen and win!

Here’s what is open and closed today:

The City and County of Honolulu offices will be closed on Friday, April 18, in observance of Good Friday, a state holiday.

  • Emergency ambulance, fire, lifeguard and police services will be available.

  • Refuse will be collected. Landfills and transfer stations will be open.

  • Municipal golf courses, botanical gardens and the Honolulu Zoo will be open.

  • TheBus will operate on a state holiday schedule.

  • The People’s Open Markets will not be held

  • The Blaisdell Center box office will be closed.

  • All Satellite City Halls and Driver License offices will be closed.

These traffic and parking regulations will be in effect:

  • On-street parking will be free, except for meters on Kalakaua Avenue along Queen Kapiolani Park and metered parking lots.

  • Contraflow traffic lanes will not be coned.

Here’s the latest in Hollywood movie gossip. Forget any of those superhero Avenger films or the upcoming Star Wars films… here’s the real stuff going on  that the Hollywood Reporter thinks you are dying to know.

Fox studio is developing a sequel to the 1993 hit Mrs. Doubtfire, which would reunite director Chris Columbus and star Robin Williams. To be honest, my initial reaction to this news was… “oh, there wasn’t a Mrs. Doubtfire 2 already out?”  I guess all the Tyler Perry Madea films clouded my memory. Because to me, they’re the same thing. The sequel is being written by David Berenbaum, who wrote Elf. Why doesn’t he just write a sequel to Elf?  Or better yet, Alf.

A Florida judge was caught off guard this week by the unique last name of the defendant standing in his courtroom. The man’s name is ... Edward Cocaine! Wanna guess what he was being charged with? You guessed it, drug possession.  What if we all had the last name of our guilty vices. Like, Ryan Gambler, Brad E. Cig (get it, e would be his middle initial and also stands for the e in electronic cigarette.  Or I guess in my case it would be Fernando Whiskey.  Read the whole story [here].


Thursday, April 17, 2014

Apr 17, 2014 -- 8:00am

Giving away another Transcendence movie prize pack at 7:40 so make sure your listen up for that and win!  But first, helping one Oahu resident find love this morning in KPOI’s Missed Connection.

[Here] is the actual ad.

You are a police officer in my apartment... - w4m (Windward)

We park right next to each-other and we always look at each other after work but I always have a handful of groceries or somewhere to be. You usually are wearing your uniform or have just finished working out when I see you. I think you may have recently moved in because I have not scene you before. Either way I have a thing for men in uniform and you definitely have my attention. Tell me what make and model car I drive or what you drive... :))

One thing I forgot to mention is that there’s a graphic attached to this post. It’s a picture that says “You are my bucket list.” Which is on the bucket list? To be with a neighbor or to be with a man in uniform? I would say definitely tread lightly in this situation. Yes, you live close to each other so the convenience is there. BUT if things don’t go well, it’ll make your living situation awkward so both of you, think about that. But like I always say, the heart wants what it wants.  So Police officer, if you’re hungry, head over next door . Talking about her groceries that she’s always carrying … get your mind out of the gutter.

If you’ve got a court date to see the judge, I’d like to think it’s common sense to stay out of trouble leading up to your day in court … especially the day of. A California couple stole a car from a dealership in order to make a court appearance in another county. The original charge was possession of a controlled substance but now, thanks to a GPS tracking device on the vehicle, possession of stolen property is also added to the list. If you are gonna break the law, at least make it a lesser charge than the original.  I’m guessing stealing is worse because you’re involving more than one person whereas for possession of drugs, it’s just you… and maybe your dealer. Read the whole story [here].

Ladies … are you gonna love your man when he’s a grumpy old man with those ear hairs reaching out to choke you or anyone else that’s near? Well thanks to a recent report we now have an estimate when old guys start to get grumpy. The age? 70.  So do the math ladies, figure out how much time you have before you gingerly move on. You’ll be fine-guys love cougars now. 70 years old … I just thought guys get grumpy when the cable goes out … or if you walk on their lawn, I mean, that’s a given.  Read the story [here].


Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Apr 16, 2014 -- 12:09am

It’s Wrong Wrong Wednesday and I’ve got No Doubt that you’ll like this morning’s mondegreen.  

Like I said, “No Doubt” has got this one covered.  Check it out below:


You know, back then, Gwen Stefani was already a pretty big deal. She could date whoever she wanted but she’s trying to keep it simple. She’s not high maintenance. She doesn’t want diamonds or fur coats. All she wants is a simple Cadillac. Is that asking too much?  Hmm wait.  Maybe it was she wants a simple kind of life.  Oh well.  Completely different but both fit, right?


Smartphones are getting smarter in the rear is what you could say is the latest in phone technology. Droid phone manufacturers are coming up with plans for all that unused real estate on the back of your phone - like a permanent display for battery, time and weather and also options to mute your phone and other basic call functions. In other words … if you thought it was easy to butt dial before, it’s gonna be nearly impossible NOT to butt dial with controls on both sides of your phone … you just can’t win. Read the whole story [here].

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Apr 15, 2014 -- 12:37am

It’s Spankin’ New Tuesday - and that means new DVD and Blu-Ray releases, and new albums dropping today … find out what they are this morning.  Then at 7:40 I’ll be giving away another Transcendence movie prize pack - listen, hashtag, tweet or Facebook and win!

Ok, so the “Windy City,” Chicago. If you’ve never visited the city, you must know that it’s home to three things. The Cubs, Oprah and the $100 grilled cheese sandwich. That’s right, when you head over to the Ritz-Carlton Chicago, their restaurant can serve you the Zillion Dollar Grilled Cheese. With a name like that, the $100 price tag makes it sound like a deal, right? So what makes this grilled cheese so special, let’s get into it here:

  • black Iberico ham "sourced from pigs" that "roam free in the pasture eating acorns" in the "south of Spain," (I’m assuming they have photosto prove that.)

  • "artisan" country sourdough bread,

  • 40-year aged Wisconsin cheddar "infused with 24k gold flakes,"

  • white truffle aioli,

  • 100-year-old aged balsamic vinegar,

  • heirloom tomatoes,

  • comes topped with a sunny side up duck egg.

  • Just incase that wasn't indulgent enough, the sandwich is also served with a skillet of lobster mac

$100, yeah, that’s starting to sound right for this thing. But for my next trip to Chicago, I’ll settle for the deep dish pizza … with Oprah as my date, call me, girl!  Read the whole cheesy story [here].

Okay, even if I got into major trouble for my Ultimate Warrior Tribute show last week, brought up a story this morning, and gonna continue to talk about wrestling anyway and just enjoy my time here while it lasts.

NFL fans, check this out, linebacker Shawne Merriman has joined WWE. We got to see him here in the islands before as he’s rocked a few Pro Bowls. His decision to go into wrestling … makes sense if you ask me. He has the "Lights Out" nickname, looks like he could hold his own in the ring and it's easy to see him doing his old sack dance right before his finishing move. Only question is: will he be a heel (a bad guy)? I dunno, it’s gonna be hard with that smile.  Read the whole story [here].


Monday, April 14, 2014

Apr 14, 2014 -- 12:40am

Find out what rocked in the box office this weekend in my KPOI Hotbox … and speaking of movies, I’ll be giving away a Transcendence movie prize pack - including passes to see Transcendence in theaters, a poster, cup, t-shirts and pens … all that is yours if you win at 7:40 this morning!

And you know it’s prom season … so if this trend catches on, we’ll all be able to add some poultry to our proms.  A KFC in Louisville, Kentucky is selling a chicken drumstick corsage.  That’s right guys, for just $20 your date could wear a drumstick on her wrist in any of the 3 KFC styles: Extra Crispy, Kentucky Grilled Chicken or Original Recipe - whichever best matches her dress. Finally, a reason to slow dance, right? Get her on the dance floor, you put your hand around her waist. she puts her  corsage hand on your shoulder… and then you can start taking bites of chicken. Keep your energy up. Maybe they can look into a boutonnière that squirts gravy and then we’re all set.  Read the whole story [here].

Last week, we were giving Kodak a hard time about nobody printing pictures anymore but believe it or not, according to a recent study reported in the Belsfast Telegraph, people are starting to print out their pictures again, thanks to selfies. If you’re too embarrassed to ask your kids what a selfie is, I’ll explain it to you, because I already looked it up. A selfie is a photo that you take of yourself … usually done with your smartphone.

I believe it too, because when it comes to selfies on apps like Instagram, they are usually of yourself when you’ are looking hot, or with your friends who are looking hot and you therefore are trying to look hot by association or sometimes with a celebrity so why not print those suckers out, right?

By the way, there should be some type of law for people that post photos of their food. For every 10 pictures you post of your food, you have to legally print one out. And it can’t be small wallet size … it’s gotta be 8x10, you know the largest size in your school picture packets that your mom would order? Big ol’ plate of chicken katsu. Read the story [here].


Friday, April 11, 2014

Apr 11, 2014 -- 6:51am

Happy Friday!  Friday means movies, and you’ll find out what new movies hit the big screen today, in this morning’s Friday Flicks.  And at 7:40 this morning I’m giving away the last pair of tickets to the Car and Bike Show at the Aloha Stadium tomorrow, so make sure to listen in.

And here’s a pair of jeans that you might wanna think about wearing around the office on your next casual Friday. The brand Naked and Famous Denim is now selling scratch and sniff jeans. Yes, I realize your current jeans already have a smell but I’m talking about a scent besides cheetos and butt. If you scratch these Naked and Famous jeans, what you’ll smell is a fresh blast of mint … for five washes anyway. After that, maybe you can add a little toothpaste to each wash. This is just what we need, right? Another sleazy pick up line. “You know, my jeans are scratch and sniff … no, not there … not there…. right there.”  Read the whole story [here].

Stephen Colbert

In TV news, here’s the latest announcement from CBS: Stephen Colbert of Comedy Central’s Colbert Report will succeed David Letterman as the host of THE LATE SHOW, effective whenever Mr. Letterman retires… sometime next year.  But what I’m wondering, is which Stephen Colbert is he gonna be? Because, you know that the Stephen Colbert on Comedy Central is a character, right? Just like how Larry the Cable Guy is not real. I hate to put the two of them in the same conversation but it’s true. So, in 2015, will it be the fictional Stephen Colbert that we have come to know and love or will  it be the real Stephen Colbert. Only time will tell, I suppose. Read the story [here].


Thursday, April 10, 2014

Apr 10, 2014 -- 12:18am

Giving away another pair of tickets to the Car and Bike Show at the Aloha Stadium happening this Saturday, April 12th, and of course like every Thursday, helping one of you find love … check out KPOI’s Missed Connection below:

[Here] is the actual ad.  And below, is it’s contents:

blue hair at kawaii kon - m4w - 25 (kawaii kon)

I saw you and asked you wherr to get a 2 day pass. u are short beautiful smile and had blue hair. I should have said more when I first saw u. I would love to get to kno u better or atleast just chat as friends. I hope this find this. if so tell what kinda shirt I yad on

Okay, first I think you need to be more specific. Looking for a short girl with blue at a cosplay convention is like saying I’m looking for a guy with a goatee at a Smash Mouth concert. They’re everywhere. AND let’s not forget about what could be under the wig. What if she has a bright red mohawk underneath… or a bald Sinead O’Conner type of thing going on? Still wanna meet up with her for some late-night Dungeons and Dragons? I’m just making sure you’ve thought this through. But then again, who thinks things through when it comes to love, right? Foolish decisions keeps love in business.  So, if you were on of the 300 blue-haired girls at Kawaii-Kon, your love awaits… on Craigslist.

In strange news, there’s a lawsuit going on right now against a nursing home for an unwanted performance by a male stripper. The son of one of the female residents found a photograph of a male stripper gyrating in front of her. The elderly woman says she was confused and bewildered as to why a muscular, almost nude man, was approaching her and placing his body and limbs, over [her],” says the lawsuit.

In this story, I feel bad for the stripper. That must’ve been lousy tips.  I bet when he emptied his tights, he had a few bingo cards, poker chips,  maybe a coupon.  And if he did get tips, there must be some disappointed grandchildren this year. Sorry, no $5 check from Grandma this year… she spent it all on strippers. You know how it is. Read the whole story [here].

How’d you like to work 6 hrs a day instead of 8? That’s what’s happening in a city in Sweden. They have adopted the 6-hr work day in an attempt to cut down on sick leave, boost efficiency, and ultimately save Sweden money.  Hopefully it’s successful and the trend catches on. I’d love to see that here in Hawaii. Not because we get to work less or boost efficiency but that might help reduce traffic. If companies stagger their start times, we might not all be trying to cram through the bottlenecks at the same time every morning.  But don’t worry, I’ll keep my same hours. Who else is gonna crack lame jokes for you every morning? Read the rest of the story [here].

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Apr 09, 2014 -- 6:33am

RIP Ultimate Warrior - tribute show this morning on the Walk of Shame.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Apr 08, 2014 -- 12:23am

It’s Spankin’ New Tuesday and I’ve got some new titles for you - DVD and Blu-Ray movies dropping today … all that this morning.  And I’ll also be giving away another pair of                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            tickets to the Car and Bike Show at the Aloha Stadium on Saturday, April 12th.

So Kodak is in the news. Haven’t heard from those guys in a while since we basically stopped using film. Well, they plan to make a comeback using the same silver compound they used in their film but now … are you ready for this, bachelors?  It’ll be going into clothes.  Apparently, if you add silver to your clothes, they don’t smell … ever. There’s some type of reaction  from the silver that kills bacteria.

That sounds great. If I may suggest something to Kodak … let’s start with underwear. Some silver anti-funk boxers, briefs, boxer briefs. And once all the bases are covered downstairs, then move it up to shirts so we can avoid those pit stains.  Read the whole story [here].


What is that thing up above?  Well, right now, this goat/sheep hybrid is being called a “Geep.” I would’ve went with “Shoat.”  People will ask, did you just swear and then you’ll say no, i was just talking about that half goat thing.  Read the whole story [here].


Monday, April 7, 2014

Apr 07, 2014 -- 12:01am

Hope you had a great weekend! Speaking of what happened this weekend, the KPOI Hotbox this morning will give you the results of the box office battles, and I’ll be giving away a pair of tickets to the Car and Bike Show at the Aloha Stadium happening this Saturday, April 12th.

And police are trying to learn who shipped a Teddy Bear - with heroin hidden inside - from Mexico to northeast Georgia. A woman told Athens-Clarke County police that she received the bear on Thursday, in an unexpected package from Mexico. An officer who examined the toy found something hard within the stuffing, then noticed a slit in the back of its neck. He pulled out a plastic bag with some type of powder. A drug task force member later determined the powder was heroin. So I guess that’s one bear that a drug dealer won’t be Snuggling with. Get it? Snuggle softener, their mascot is the teddy bear … ahh nevermind.  Read the whole story [here].


WWE WrestleMania 30 Results: Winners, Grades, Recap and Highlights

Yesterday wrestling fans were treated to the 30th WrestleMania from WWE.  Personally it was the first Wrestlemania I’ve watched since the 90s … a lot of old school wrestlers made some appearances yesterday.  Read the whole recap [here].


Friday, April 4, 2014

Apr 04, 2014 -- 12:09am

It’s Friday so you know that it means movies hit the big screen today - find out what those titles are in this morning’s Friday Flicks.  And this weekend you can also attend the Hawaiian Ocean Expo plus four guests, if you listen at win at 7:40, because I’ll be giving away the last five pack of tickets away to the Hawaiian Ocean Expo 2014 at the Blaisdell Exhibition Hall happening tomorrow and Sunday.

View image on Twitter

So I guess ninja turtles aren’t the only ones climbing in and out of storm drains. A teenage girl in England was found stuck in a drain this week as she attempted to retrieve her iPhone that she dropped while talking to a friend.

When firefighters came to rescue her, they were surprised that she was more concerned about her cell phone back than getting herself out of the drain. I don’t blame her. She probably didn’t have insurance on the phone and so a new one would cost, what … $400? Maybe $500? You can get it cheaper but you’d have to sign up for another contract and be locked in for years. that’s where I am right now. I hate my carrier but I can’t afford to leave them.

Also, let’s not forget that she was on the phone when she dropped it and so if that friend doesn’t hang up, think of all those minutes she’ll be charged for. Yeah, you jump into that drain, girlfriend.  Read the whole story [here].

If you’re a fan of the musical “Grease,” you might wanna start booking your trip to Vegas. Olivia Newton-John arrived in Vegas this week for her new residency at The Flamingo. At her press conference, she was awarded the key to the city and fans were excited because at first they thought she was dressed entirely in leather, just like she was at the end of Grease. But it turned out it was just her own skin. She was wearing a bikini.  Yup, it gets hot in Vegas. And she’s a cougar … these types of mix-ups happen. If you’re a cougar and was offended by this last story, I apologize … I thought you had thicker skin. Oooohhh, double-whammy. Read the whole story [here].


Thursday, April 3, 2014

Apr 03, 2014 -- 12:34am

It’s KPOI’s Missed Connection Day … oops I mean, Thursday.  And that means that I’ll be helping one soul find love this morning.  But first, I am giving away another five-pack of tickets to the Hawaii Ocean Expo 2014 at the Neal Blaisdell Exhibition Hall happening on April 5-6th - listen and win at 7:40 this morning!

Now for that Missed Connection.  Read the ad [here].  It’s contents are below:

Waiting at the Post office - m4w (Kailua Post Office)

You were at the Kailua Post Office today b/w 10:45-11am. I was the guy in the baseball cap w/ a beard mailing a box. You spoke to me when I came in, said that I could go in front of you in line because you were waiting to pick up mail. You had on jeans, a gray top, and gorgeous long dark hair, all of which I can barely remember because of the beauty of your face...:) I couldn't help but keep looking at you while we both waited...

Afterwards, I went to get a cup of coffee at the Kailua Foodland Coffee Bean, and I saw you getting out of your white SUV at the UPS store. I wished I'd had something that needed shipping so I could have had a reason to meet you! Been thinking of you all day since then...

If you see this, I'm sure you'll know who you are...I remember your license number, so if you're interested in meeting up for coffee or a cocktail, tell me the last three letters of your license. I'm only doing this since you didn't have a ring on, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why...

Okay now time for my comments: Baseball cap, beard, mailing a box. I’m not so sure if that’s a good look. Oh and “I remember your license plate number?” That’s something you need to keep to yourself. The fact that you spotted her at more than one location is already stalker-ish enough, you know what I mean?

But I still wish you the best so … long-haired lady in jeans that I guess always has stuff to mail, your prince charming awaits. Just hit him up and give him your license plate number, blood type, home address all info that I’m guessing he already has.


So Johnny Depp was spotted with an engagement ring when promoting one of his upcoming films this week. By that, I don’t mean the ring was spotted on his fiance, he was wearing an engagement ring. It’s a little out of the ordinary but hey, these are different times we’re living in. Nothing wrong with a woman courting a guy, proposing and then giving him the wedding ring. For guys, I don’t think it has to be a ring.  Maybe a t-shirt that says “taken” to ward off people from checking you out because that’s the whole reason for the ring in the first place. And then the rest of the money could be used for a new gas grill or kegerator… a refrigerator that holds beer kegs. I’m just spit-balling here. But congrats to Johnny Depp engaged to his fiance Amber Heard (ahem, don’t do it).  Read the whole story [here].

HuffPoster Carly Ledbetter is smiling to hide the pain.

And whenever the last time it was that you ripped into a bag of Cheetos, did you ever think man, I wish I could always smell like this. First off, nobody’s judging you about your snack fetish and secondly, this is your lucky day. Cheetos now has it’s own perfume. Reviews so far is that the chemical cheese smell comes off as rather pungent - it stings the nostrils.

From a guy’s perspective, you know what would kinda hot on a woman. Not the scent of cheetos but the cheetos orange fingers. Maybe cheetos should go into orange make-up instead. I don’t give them anymore ideas though.  Hmm.  Read the whole cheesy story [here].

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Apr 01, 2014 -- 11:46pm

It’s a Wrong Wrong Wednesday and that means we’ll have some fun … “We Are Young” fun that is …


This one’s a no-brainer. If you were to set the world on fire… that’s a whole lot of flames around you… might as well grill up some venison, you know, some deer meat. Don’t even try to argue with me on this one, listen to it again.

I know it’s hard for you surfers to do this but no dawn patrol this morning, alright?  Because of the Tsunami advisory that issued yesterday, Honolulu Mayor Kirk Caldwell said the City will be keeping people out of the ocean till 8 a.m. today. The City will likely close Hanauma Bay as well, he said. This is because of the 8.2 magnitude earthquake has shook Chile, striking at 1:45 p.m. Hawaii time yesterday. I think our mayor said it best, you know?  Safety first. Read some of the updates [here].


You might want to sit down: It turns out that the guy who said he killed Bigfoot in Texas after luring it with Walmart pork ribs was lying. Again.  What? You mean a guy that previously lied about killing bigfoot lied again? Shocker. Read the rest of the story [here].

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Mar 31, 2014 -- 9:42pm

It’s April Fools Day!  And no fooling, I’ll be giving you the titles of new albums, DVDs and Blu-rays being release today in Spankin’ New Tuesday - make sure you listen up to hear them.  And at 7:40 I’ll be giving away another five-pack of tickets to the Hawaii Ocean Expo 2014 at the Neal Blaisdell Exhibition Hall happening on April 5-6.


McDonald tweet

And you may not realize this, but we’re in the middle of a war. The fast food breakfast war, that is, and it’s getting ugly. Taco Bell just rolled out their breakfast menu, featuring the waffle taco, amongst other items. Apparently Taco Bell is not getting a warm welcome. McDonald’s is firing back with giving away free 12-ounce cups of coffee for  the next two weeks, which also takes a shot at their other competitor-Starbucks.  Not only is McDonald’s doing the free coffee thing but they are also  considering expanding their breakfast hours after 10:30am. That’s right, no more sprinting to McDonald’s at 10:29 to get your egg mcmuffin on. That would be awesome.  Read the whole story [here].

Detail of porcupine standing on moss-covered tree trunk. Erethizon dorsatum. Alaska.

I know we’ve got some fans of Chinese medicine here in Hawaii so I thought you’d like this little piece of news. A couple days ago, this guy in Maine watched a porcupine get hit by a car. He was excited because there’s supposed to be a valuable mineral deposit used in Chinese medicine formed in the stomachs of porcupines.  Something about the wild mushrooms that they eat. So anyway, they guy picks up the dead porcupine and cuts open its stomach. But instead of finding this precious mineral, he finds a precious baby porcupine and it’s still alive. He didn’t know it but he just performed a c-section on this porcupine. I bet at this point he wished he had some of those wild mushrooms. But he took the baby porcupine home and he’s taking care of it. Why … because the daddy porcupine is nowhere to be found … typical.  Catch the whole story [here].

Monday, March 31, 2014

Mar 31, 2014 -- 6:44am

Find out what was hot in the box office over the weekend in the KPOI Hotbox this morning and at 7:40, your chance to win a five pack of tickets to the Hawaii Ocean Expo 2014 at the Neal Blaisdell Exposition Hall happening on April 5-6th.  First,

And I don’t mean to give any kids ideas by using this story, but maybe you can take this as more of a warning … there’s an idiotic online trend  where teenagers are posting videos of themselves smoking coffee. That’s right, rolling up that Columbian blend, lighting it up and taking a few puffs. DON’T DO THIS. Because these are the things happening to these kids after the the cameras are turned off … hallucinations, vomiting, dizziness, and trouble breathing. In other words, things that you could’ve guess would happen after smoking coffee. Read the whole story [here].

How Steven Spielberg Made Millions Off 'Star Wars' After A 1977 Bet With George Lucas

There were two bets mentioned in the news over the weekend. One was a drunk bet where a guys swallowed a fork. Don’t worry, he swallowed it handle-end first … he’ll survive. The second bet mentioned in the new was a bet made a long time ago on a film set far, far away … talking about the 70s. George Lucas and Steven Spielburg were both working on sci-fi films-one being  "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" and the other obviously being Star Wars. The two directors were betting that each other’s film would be the biggest hit of all time.  Needless to say Spielberg, who bet on Star Wars ,won big time on that bet where George Lucas promised him 2.5 percent of Star Wars.  The film has made $1.48 billion at the box office, making it the second-biggest box-office hit of all time — only behind "Gone With The Wind." This means Spielberg's 2.5 percent has made him nearly $40 million. And he has George Lucas still sends him money to this day. I wonder how much money the guy from the first story got for swallowing a fork. Something tells me, not a whole lot.  Read the rest of the story [here].


Friday, March 28, 2014

Mar 28, 2014 -- 12:41am

Wanna hear the new films hitting theaters today?  I’ll be going over them in this morning’s Friday Flicks - and I’ll be giving away the last set of  tickets to the Island Invasion Tour 2014, featuring an unplugged performance by Alien Ant Farm’s Dryden Mitchell and Terry Corso, happening TONIGHT at Hawaiian Brian’s.  


And in tattoo news this morning, an 18-year-old from Norway now has a McDonald's receipt tattooed on his right arm.  It’s original … I’ll give him that. I know what you’re wondering... you wanna know what he ordered right? He will forever be reminded that he ordered a soda, cheeseburger and  a Flurry…. and I believe he order number 286. Read the whole story [here].

And if you heard him this morning, yep, I had this creepy guy as our guest this morning on air.  This week, photos have been surfacing of a clown making random appearances around Staten Island, NY. He’s been seen holding balloons and just waving at people at all hours of the day. It’s been creeping people out, especially at night. Read the whole story [here].


Thursday, March 27, 2014

Mar 26, 2014 -- 11:36pm

I’ve got a $100 gift card to brand spankin’ new H&M Waikiki - I’ll be giving it away in my 7:40 am hashstash, so make sure to listen up!  And it’s Thursday so I’ll be helping one of you find love in KPOI’s Missed Connection.

So again, like every week, this is for an actual person on Oahu … this time coming from Central Oahu.  [Here] is the actual ad.  

And below is what it states:

Girl holding "it could always be worst sign" - m4w - 27 (Wahiawa)

You were holding the sign at the light last week around noon. I was sitting passenger in a friends car as we passed. I read your sign and laughed. I also thought you shouldve been in the car with us. You had cool colorful hair and shades on.

If you read this lets chat...

First off, I’m wondering if you were laughing at her grammar. It’s supposed to be “it could always be worse … not worst.” And… if she was holding that sign, I’m guessing she was begging for change? Maybe you should drive by that intersection again, drop off a spam musubi and start a conversation.  Girl with colorful hair and shades on, if you’re also looking for love, put down that sign for a second and reply to this guy on craigslist.

And listen up kids, there’s a new record for the most girl scout cookies sold … and it wasn’t in Colorado where something green recently became legal. The record holder is actually a sixth grader from Oklahoma City. Total box count was 18,107  which only beats the previous record by a little over a hundred boxes. Talk about winning by a thin mint.  Read the whole story [here].

(credit: Minnesota State Patrol)

“Go big or go home” was probably what a drunk Minnesota man was thinking when recently caught driving a giant piece of construction equipment down a sidewalk. It was one of those Caterpillar excavators. Yes, his blood alcohol was twice the legal limit. Read the whole story [here].


Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Mar 26, 2014 -- 12:38am

We’ve got some Green Day in today’s Wrong Wrong Wednesday but first, I’ll be giving away more tickets to the Island Invasion Tour 2014, featuring an unplugged performance by Alien Ant Farm’s Dryden Mitchell and Terry Corso, happening on March 28th at Hawaiian Brian’s.  


And now for that Wrong Wrong Wednesday mondegreen - here’s some Green Day for ya:





Hmm.  Why would he wonder about being stoned?  No, I think what Billie Joe Armstrong is wondering is … is he Joss Stone - the British soul singer. And of course he’s not but hey, if he keeps talking about it, people will start to think he’s a basket case.  That’s your Wrong Wrong Wednesday for ya!

Alright broke people, time to blow some minds and do some food mash-ups of your favorite fast food items.  If you’re in a food court, you could easily grab some of these and create some low budget culinary delights.  Are you ready? Here we go:

Burger King Croissan’wich + McDonald’s Hotcakes = Croissancake (breakfast club sandwich)

Wendy’s Frosty + Taco bell Churro = Frorro (amazing dessert waiting to happen)

Pizza Hut’s personal pan pizza + McDonald’s Chicken Nuggets =  Nugget Pizza (you may have to secure the chicken nuggets with your hand but you’ll realize that it’s worth the effort and as far as which sauce, that’s up to you. My daughter will probably say BBQ sauce … and I’d have to agree.  Yep, I’ve taught her well.  Check out the story [here].



Facebook announced less than 24 hours ago that it will acquire Oculus, a manufacturer of virtual reality headsets. What could this mean? Facebook in 3D? Awesome because that’s the one thing I always wish for when looking at pictures of my friend’s salads and grandmas on facebook. Shucks, I wish I could see this in 3D. I think I’ll pass … or maybe I just need better facebook friends.   Read the whole story [here].


Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Mar 25, 2014 -- 12:17am

It is Tuesday and you know what that means - Spankin New Tuesday releases - new albums and DVDs/Blu-Rays that are hitting today, all in this morning’s show.  And listen up at 7:40, because I’ll be giving away more tickets to the Island Invasion Tour 2014, featuring an unplugged performance by Alien Ant Farm’s Dryden Mitchell and Terry Corso, happening on March 28th at Hawaiian Brian’s.  

Image: A deer jumps in front of Nevada Gov. Brian Sandoval, right, while he walks to work

And the above photo of a deer hopping over a fence in front of  Nevada’s governor is going viral.  First off, secret service … fail. If you can defend your governor, against Bambi, when what good are you? If a black cat crossing your path is a bad omen, I’d hate to find out what a deer means.

Image: A rare Imperial Faberge Egg

And this story might inspire you to hit the Swap Meet a little more. A scrap metal entrepreneur bought an egg at a midwest flea market for about $14,000, thinking he could make a small profit by reselling the piece for its gold content. To me, that sounds crazy already. But the story goes on. It turned out to be one of the eight missing Faberge Imperial eggs, worth millions. Can I put in a request with the Easter Bunny?  Forget those cadbury eggs … gimme one of these jewel encrusted russian eggs so that I can work on those early retirement plans.  Read the whole story [here].


Monday, March 24, 2014

Mar 24, 2014 -- 12:55am

Find out which movies were hot this weekend in this morning’s KPOI Hotbox!  And at 7:40 I’ll be giving away more tickets to the Island Invasion Tour 2014, featuring an unplugged performance by Alien Ant Farm’s Dryden Mitchell and Terry Corso, happening on March 28th at Hawaiian Brian’s.  Listen and win at 7:40 this morning!


And my buddy Hazmatt broke the news on this over the weekend. The 80s cartoon known as Jem and the Holograms is coming to the big screen. If you somehow missed the boat on this one, Jem and the Holograms are a group of orphaned teenage girls that become the ultimate girl band. The producers have confirmed that the story of the live-action film will be based in los Angeles and deals with "themes of being true to who you are in a multitasking, hyperlinked social media age." I wonder if Jem will be able to  send tweets with her earrings? If anything, I bet they’d be bluetoothed  to her walkman . yes, I said walkman.  Read the whole story [here].


And as if tax season wasn’t bad enough, there’s a new phone scam. Phony IRS agents are calling victims to pay up for owed taxes through a debit card or wire transfer, threatening them with arrest, deportation, or loss of a business or driver's license if they don't comply.  An official statement from the IRS, says its officials first reach out through the mail and don't demand immediate payment. So there you have it, take note. If the IRS is texting you, asking for money and wanting to meet in a Zippy’s parking lot, odds are, it’s not them.   Read the whole story [here].


Friday, March 21, 2014

Mar 20, 2014 -- 9:34pm

Find out which films join the Muppets in theaters this weekend in Friday Flicks this morning, and at 7:40, I’ll be giving away the last pair of tickets to the Island Invasion Tour 2014, featuring an unplugged performance by Alien Ant Farm’s Dryden Mitchell and Terry Corso, happening on March 28th at Hawaiian Brian’s.  Listen and win at 7:40 this morning!

So it looks like you might have to start showing your ID when ordering at Starbucks, especially if you start ordering their beerachino. That’s actually not what’s it’s called but yes, Starbucks is slowly rolling out light beers to their evening menu. This won’t be available at all stores - just the ones in urban areas. Just like the one downstairs from our studio. Maybe I should put in an order extra early … give them enough time to spell my name right.  Read the whole story [here].

Now, I’m not saying that you should  steal … but if you do ...don’t steal from male strippers. This week, a Las Vegas man high on meth was caught stealing items from the locker room of Excalibur Hotel’s Thunder from Down Under - the male revue show. Those muscles aren’t just for decoration, folks. Those guys are strong - just ask the meth head that they caught trying to steal from them. Las vegas police posted a mug shot and unlike the males strippers … his face does not look good. Lemme put it this way, he messed with Thunder from Down Under … but he got caught in the storm.  Read the whole story [here].

Hard Rock Rising.png

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